Monday, July 30, 2012

Letting Go

At some point, as a parent, you have to let go of your children and let them venture off to do new things and have new experiences. Well, this week was my week to let our daughter go. She is staying with my hubby's parents for the week.

I didn't want her to go but unfortunately even though I wasn't ready to let her go, I didn't really have a choice. They made me do it. Once the idea of staying with grandpa and grandma was in her head and they told her all the fun things they could do, places they could go, if she stayed with them, I didn't really have a choice but to say yes, she could go, whether I wanted her to or not. If I'd said no, I was the bad guy, the mean mommy, and she would have been mad at me and of course, I didn't want that.

Right now I'm a bit upset over it all and really miss not having her here. This is only the third time I've ever been away from her overnight. The other times were some time ago. Twice when I was in the hospital and once when she stayed at the hotel when hubby's parents were in town visiting.

Being away from her while I was in the hospital wasn't too hard. I missed her but I don't think it bothered me as much because, well, I didn't really have a say so in being away from her. It was out of my control. I had to be away.

When she stayed at the hotel with hubby's parents while they were in town visiting, that wasn't too bad either but she was also only gone basically long enough to sleep and then they came back. Plus, they were right here in town, close to our house, not hundreds of miles away in a completely different city and state.

To make it worse, some of the things hubby's parents are going to do with our daughter this week are things that we wanted to do with her like go shopping, go see a movie, and take her to their local zoo. I know we can still do those things but it might not be as fun or mean as much to her if she's already done them. I'm sure we'll be able to do other things with her to make some memories too though.

While she is staying with them, I think they also plan to take her places that I would prefer she DIDN'T go, and I think they know this, but they will still probably take her there anyway. What can I do though? Nothing really.

Our son was extremely upset when we left sister at their grandpa and grandma's house. He was crying so hard that hubby stopped to talk with him. My hubby even thought about going back to get our daughter, that's how upset our son was. Even though our kids don't always get along, our son LOVES his big sister SO much!

Some might think I'm being crazy and selfish about this whole ordeal but no one but me understands how I feel about my kids. I'm a different kind of mom who would rather have my kids close to me so I know what they are doing and that they are safe.

Yes, I sometimes complain about my kids and their behavior. What parent doesn't at one point or another? And yes, I enjoy an occasional date night out with hubby or a day out and about with my mom to get a little kid free time, but overall at the end of the day, I want my kids here with me when it's time for bed so I can tuck them in and say I love you.

Don't get me wrong, I want our children to have a good relationship with their grandparents. I have a wonderful one with mine. I'm just upset that I was forced to let go before I was ready. It would have been hard for me regardless of when it happened, but not getting to decide the timing on my own, made it THAT much harder.

Yes, I'm an adult and it's crazy that our daughter is handling this better than mommy. Yes, I will eventually get over it because it isn't the end of the world. Yes, there are MANY other things in life that CAN and probably WILL be harder to handle than this. I realize all these things but still can't help but miss our little girl! This week CANNOT get over soon enough for me!

1 comment:

  1. awww :( oh bless you!

    I don't have kids as you know so i can't begin to try and understand what you're going through.

    But i also think it's normal. My momma told me she cried the first time she had to leave me to go to school and that was only for a few hours!

    I hope you feel better soon and i'm sure she'll love doing things with you too just as much if not more :) xx